Today. Today I woke up and Jesus said "Thank God no matter what happens." (1st Thes 5:18)
"Not today Jesus"
"In all things, will you worship me still? Not only through it, but for it?"
This morning I sat in my cheap white chair, Bible in hand, YouTube blaring Bethel music unsure of exactly what choice I was going to make. There was a large part of me that plainly said "No way! Ain't gonna happen!" and then another part of me that ached in desperation. I needed something larger than myself and I knew I had the Father to turn to. So, I stared, even deeper into the words that hit so deep into my soul. The words I knew my Father was asking of me.
"Will you thank me for your heartache?"
The flood gates opened and my heart exploded. He loves me enough to not let me stay stuck in my self pity and misunderstanding of His grace. And even though it hurts I will praise Him for who He is, what He has done and what He will continue to do, even if it is through and for my suffering.
Ladies, this world is broken. Shattered. In a million tiny pieces. The only way we will ever be mended is if we come to Jesus. Even in the pain. I know it hurts, it hurts like hell! Bring your marriage, your finances, your infertility, your miscarriage, your children, your job, your health, your dreams, your fears, your failures straight to the cross! Wave your white flag in surrender and worship!! Worship in the midst of the pain, the trial and the suffering. Thank Him for loving you still. Loving you through your doubt and misunderstanding. Thank Him for not forsaking you. For being true to His word and being exactly who He says He is. He is our comforter, our shelter and our refuge and it is in Him alone that we will find peace for our suffering.
It's hard. And it takes full surrender. And you may wake up tomorrow and do it all over again. But that's okay my friend. He knows. He understands. Lift your head up. Raise your hands. Worship Him. Praise Him. Thank Him.
Father, I give to you all that you have given to me. Whether it be triumph, joy, gladness, abundance and peace, or whether it be pain, hurting, waiting, mourning or suffering. I give it to you. Not only do I give it to you but I thank you for it. Father, as the tears of longing stream down my face, I thank you. As my mind wonders in a million different directions, I thank you. As I search for what you are teaching me, I thank you. As I ache, I thank you. As I ask questions, I thank you. As I search for understanding, I thank you. Father, Thank you for loving me enough to not leave me where I started. Father thank you for being exactly who you say you are. Thank you Father for molding me, bending me, shaping me, no matter how much it hurts, thank you. Father, walk with me as I learn to thank you through it all and for it all. Thank you, for being my good good Father.
In Christ Jesus, Amen